Canyon Springs Senior Men's Golf Association (CSSMGA)

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June 30, 2015
CSSMGA League News

Great day for golf.  The weather provided a mostly cloudy day with a few raindrops.  Everybody who signed up, showed up.  Pace was slower than normal due to a group in front of CSSMGA league play. Great meal for our luncheon.

July are loaded on the "Documents" page.

Recently we have seen several instances of score cards with incorrect results.  Remember it is your responsibility to ensure that the results are accurate.  Cards in error are subject to disqualification.

 GOLF QUOTES (some are actually useful):

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s golf game: it’s called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

The other day I broke 70. That’s a lot of clubs. - Henry Youngman

I’m about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That’s the distance my left ear is from my right. - Ben Crenshaw

Golf is like a love affair. If you don’t take it seriously, it’s no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf, and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf. - Jack Benny

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

His driving is unbelievable. I don’t go that far on my holidays. - Ian Baker-Finch, on John Daly

Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing. - Ben Hogan

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

It’s good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. - Jimmy DeMaret

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive. - Arnold Palmer

I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced. - Lee Trevino

The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things. - John Updike

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron. - Lee Trevino

I’m hitting the woods just great, but I’m having a terrible time getting out of them. - Harry Toscano

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105. - Bob Hope

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. - John Updike

Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn’t a lot of strokes when you consider the course. - Lee Trevino

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. - Jim Bishop

It is more satisfying to be a bad player at golf. The worse you play, the better you remember the occasional good shot. - Nubar Gulbenkian

After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. - Chi Chi Rodriguez (talking about his Puerto Rican accent)

Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt. - Jack Nicklaus (explaining why he tees his ball high)

Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

The average golfer doesn’t play golf. He attacks it. - Jack Burke

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. – Hank Aaron

I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot. – Don Adams

When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf. – Dave Stockton

Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife. – Bruce Lansky

The most important shot in golf is the next one. – Ben Hogan

The best advice I can give for playing a ball out of water is - don’t. – Tony Lema

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you’re dead. – Tommy Bolt

The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it’s always in your face. – Jack Nicklaus

Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a 1-iron in his bag, and squinty eyes. – Dave Marr

I was lying ten and had a thirty-five foot putt. I whispered over my shoulder: “How does this one break?” And my caddie said, “Who cares?” – Jack Lemmon

The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top. – Pete Dye

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead. – Bob Hope

As a reminder, the sign-up for tournaments is on the website at   8pm the Friday before Tuesday play is the cutoff time.  It is suggested that members click on the sign-up review to verify that they are either on the list for the tournament or have indicated that they intend to cancel. 

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